At first I was going to title this, “How I trained baby #2 to sleep through the night”.
But, I decided to drop the second part because she only *just* started sleeping through and so this post is mostly about promoting baby sleep.
That’s what the past almost year has been like!
(I can’t believe she’s almost 1!!!!!)
First, I wanna say- hey girl (or hey parent!), I’m glad you’re here. There will be no mom or dad shaming in this post.
The biggest thing I learned this year is that how well your baby sleeps is not a measure of good parenting.
My baby slept pretty well and not well and that isn’t what made me a good mama to her.
My goal as a parent is to be gentle where it’s needed and firm where it’s needed and to have the wisdom to know which situation calls for either one.
That said, my baby girl needed gentle. Many times, I’d try to push her to reach my next sleep goal for her and each time, I found out it wasn’t what she needed. My sweet Eilah girl needed gentle guidance into great sleep. And I’m so happy I was able to embrace the patience this required and do what was best for her. (Uh, also that my husband & sister & whole host of friends/support system let me whine & kick & scream & prayed with me when it was driving me nuts!!!)
Here are my tips!
- You just had your baby. First, congratulations! Secondly, now is a wonderful time to start learning your baby’s sleep rhythms.
- I like to start out with letting baby sleep their longest stretch at night. How do we get there? Glad you asked!
- – There are helpful sleep associations & the ones I used with my daughter were a Dockatot and a Halo sleep sack. My son also used a wubbanub pacifier for a time.
- – I used an app called Baby Tracker to mark a start & stop time to feedings, sleep & diaper changes. (Lifesaver for baby #2, in my opinion as life may have a lot more going on!)
- – I fed her every 2-3 hours and woke her up to do so during the day. This thankfully pushed her 4-5 hour stretch to nighttime.
- – I looked at the app data and then I knew how much she usually ate & even which side. Knowing how much she was eating & when in a day helped me to know how long to let her sleep and when to wake her. Looking at her data gave me a lot of confidence in those early months! I dropped the app & went with the flow around 5 or 6 months bc she was getting distracted by my phone! (and mama needed a phone detox ☺️)
- My daughter couldn’t do cry it out. That had worked with my son but each time we tried with her, she’d end up throwing up and/or we quickly realized she had been using her voice to let us know she actually needed something!
- At night, I would change her diaper, put her in a Halo sleepsack or swaddle in the beginning & nurse her until she was either asleep or almost asleep. I wanted to put her down to sleep in either state. I learned from my son that you can sleep train and even wean a baby who always nurses to sleep at night, so I wasn’t worried about that. But I wanted to see if she could learn to go to sleep without being conked out from milk and she did/does so well!
- I would then immediately set her down in her Dockatot to sleep her longest stretch. It was amazing to have a time I knew she’d go to sleep each night! It was between 8:30-10:30 with the goal to get her to a normal 8 or 8:30p.m. bedtime (the same as her 2 year old brother). She woke up after a 5-6 hour stretch until 10 months old, then woke up again or a few more times and I nursed her & put her back down to sleep each time. *Just note that I don’t happen to co-sleep. It’s a personal thing as I can’t sleep that way, but I know a lot of moms who get their best sleep & it can be done safely. If you’re wondering about it, google mommypotamus or mama natural and co-sleeping safety for tips!
- During the day, I would look for signs of her being tired (rubbing eyes, getting fussy) and it helped that my app showed me when she usually was falling asleep for naps. I would change her diaper & put her in the Halo swaddle or sleep sack. Then I’d nurse her and she would always be awake. She would sleepily look at her wall decor until she fell asleep. She would let out a yelp or fuss for 30 seconds sometimes, but I’d pull the door to almost shut and when I either listened for a moment and/or checked back in 5-10 minutes, she was asleep. (This didn’t work for my son & I don’t know if it was him, or it was me- so know that I firmly believe each child teaches us about who they are through sleep training and every other part of everyday life & a schedule. I love the journey, even when it’s tough because ultimately you are getting to know your child intimately and that is the best part of life together).
- My daughter eventually dropped all night feeds, goes to sleep at 8 or 8:30p.m. in the same room as her older brother and sleeps 11-12 hours, the same as he does). She goes down for her first nap 1 to 1.5 hours after waking, sleeps 2 hours and naps her second nap of the day around 2:30 or 3p.m. This schedule fluctuates with life and either goes earlier or later depending on her needs but comes back to this. We recently started making sure she wakes up by 6p.m. so she can go down at 8 or 8:30, most days she’s up before that. When she was smaller, I didn’t worry about it but just made sure she was up 1 hour before going down for the night.
- I’m just so grateful that sleep training, even done very gently, does work! Now mama is learning how to sleep through the night again! ❤
I’m sending hugs & praying for you, friend! You are loving your child, you have goals, and you are suffering long with them and being kind. I’m amazed by you and I know it ain’t easy.
Let the people who love you help you, friend. This is a TOUGH season even as much as it is PRECIOUS. Sleep whenever you can, take a bath or a walk when you can, and learn to let others watch the baby when it’s time to let go a bit. You are holding him or her close and it’s such a privilege, isn’t it?!