Dear mama,
You’ve just come through it, haven’t you?
I remember the complete shock when my first child was born.
My first thought was “Whoa, heavy!”
It was a water birth & as soon as he was in my arms, I realized why it was so crazy carrying him those last few weeks- 9 lbs 9 oz & I was such a thin-armed person which is a funny way of saying I HAD NO ARM STRENGTH AT ALL!
With my second child, it was just so sweet.
It was a typical hospital birth situation & she was laid on my chest & I cried!
So, my friends here are some tips on how to recover from this wonderful experience. Now, I have not had a c-Section experience, so I won’t be able to speak on that. But I did have a full 6 weeks of needing rest from my first experience with birth, so in that perhaps you can relate.
Q: What just happened to my body?
A: A lot, sweet tough lady, a lot!
For me, I was recovering the first time around from an almost 4th degree tear. Don’t look that up if you don’t know what it is, and if you’re family (I mean, except for like mah GIRL COUSINS or my sister who knows literally everything, shoutout, you all rock & I LOVE YOU!!!!) stop reading this article here. HAHA! During this time of recovery, I recommend these things, in this order:
1. Figure out the easiest way to have a “smooth move” bowel movement. Listen to your care providers and ask any questions before you either go home or they leave your home. Prepare ahead of time with some foods that help with this. My go-to the first time was eating whole bags of delicious apricots. It really, really worked like a charm! The second time was smoothies & chia seeds, at least one chia pudding a day. I also had this herbal tincture for afterbirth pains & took a drop under my tongue while experiencing that pain, which was greater the second time around so I also took ibuprofen. I’m not totally sure but I think herbs in general help my body with bms, too.
2. Have your tribe around you. I don’t honestly know what this looks like during the time of writing, since coronavirus is a thing & social visits aren’t. Perhaps you could hire a nurse or postpartum doula to help smooth things out. I’m not sure about doulas in the place of birth at this time, but hiring them to come to your home afterwards is probably up to you.
3. Lay down as much as you want to. It felt like something had ripped out of my insides any time I tried to walk, and it’s okay to honor that sort of feeling, because it’s true. You have a placenta-sized wound inside & it will take 4-6 weeks or longer to heal, from what I understand. This is what the bleeding is about.
4. Ice padsicles or the hospital ones are a must for the first 24-48 hours or longer. It helps offset the pain & heal the swelling. I can’t imagine recovering without these!
5. Speak with your care professional about these options, but find a way that is comforting & familiar to rest your body more than just laying down. For me, it was epsom salt baths with a special herbal remedy to promote healing. My whole body relaxed and I felt like I came back to “me” in a special way with this experience. It’s not always recommended to have a bath, so there might be something else, like a heating pad on the shoulders (mine were always sore from the new job of carrying a little bundle 24/7!) or even a cup of tea! I highly recommend Pink Stork’s Recovery tea. These herbs are so supportive in this time & always gave me happy feelings.
6. Create something special or several special things for yourself. Things that can be within arms reach of your bed. I had a basket with a muscle rub, ear plugs, chapstick, nipple balm, a good book, my Bible & journal and yummy snacks on my nightstand. Also great place for pain meds (if you don’t have toddlers).
7. My best friend helped me with this perspective. Try to look at the frequent nursing or feeding sessions & middle of the night wakings as a time to do something extra fun that you’d miss out on if you were sleeping. Start a favorite show or have a list of favorite movies. We always had a few cluster feedings in those first weeks & months & it comes in clutch!
8. This also leads me to this- when you’re starting a nursing session, make sure you use the bathroom first, if your body is back to doing this naturally on your own yet after birth. The oxytocin from the milk letdown may make it pretty tough to hold out & it’s better to be in a calm & patient place when stuck nursing for a long time then feeling the urge to use the bathroom intensely! Plus, I’ve had sessions that lasted many hours & didn’t want to have to re-latch as I was learning how to do that & not so good at helping my baby do that with my first! So once he was on, I wanted him to stay on for as long as he wanted!
9. It helped me to view my maternity leave as a time to do just one thing- love on my baby & get to know them. Both times I met my children, I felt like I do with any other person, like I was getting to know them & was curious as to what they were like. It’s such an amazing time to see the very first tiny buds of their personality & it’s astounding how much you can tell from the very beginning! I did also set goals because it’s my personality- I wanted to rest well & nurse well & figure out how I could get my baby to sleep as quickly as possible for naps & through the night. I was really pleased with how this went but it never feels easy & since it’s a little human, it’s just not a little robot. There’s a lot of honoring their way & figuring them out, while also hoping to get some kind of consistency.
10. I loved using an app to keep track of sleeping, diapers & nursing. Helped me to see my daughter’s patterns and then work with those.
11. Be gentle with your body. Notice your thoughts, acknowledge the negative or positive ones. Don’t take either too seriously. Know that your story is yours. You may “bounce back” but things might be totally different, still. You may not bounce back but learn to celebrate the good things. Because bringing a new person into the world is a really, really, really good thing.
Much love to you!
Curious, what bit of knowledge or advice would you add to this?! Love to hear from ya in the comments!
Xoxo,
