Hard Stuff · Heart Stuff

Renaissance

I was sharing this with my husband.

So much is going on within my heart and mind right now.

I think it’s a renaissance of me.

God showing me the very heart of who He created me to be.

And giving me the way forward to actually voice what has been stuffed inside for many, many years.

You see, I have a tender spirit.

And I love to agree with people to make them feel comfortable, while ignoring the voice inside of me or the feeling of warning within.

And so, I have been all set to vote inside the proper and acceptable viewpoints and mindsets that so many people around me deem to be correct.

But there’s a voice inside of me, that voice that only I have been given.

Hear me roar!

(in a kind way)

I’m not just meant to be kind!

I’m meant to say what I mean forthrightly and own my thoughts and viewpoints.

With grace, yes, but also with tenacity.

How many women do you know, who like me, discount themselves at every turn?

We say, “I’m not really feeling this but if you are that’s cool, or I feel this but sorry if you feel differently, or I will totally do that (while feeling completely overwhelmed and guilty inside).”

The most shocking revelation for me yet as I step into this, is that the views I hold within my heart and mind turn out to be liberal views.

Super shocking to my system because I’ve never even been up close to a real, live liberal!

I am pro-life, so I have always thought in common pro-life terms.

I’ve always been warned away from the devil’s way and what he’s doing on the earth.

But WHAT if the enemy doesn’t win, y’all?

What if God beat him, once and for all.

What if Christ is exalted more than worries and fears that consume us.

His kingdom is pure light.

It has yet to fully come and YET, within us, He HAS shone His light in the darkness.

His light WINS every time.

We can hug the homosexual, without fear that it will rub off on us or some ungodly spirit will enter our homes.

We can vote any way we want and not receive the judgement of those who would tell us who we are according to the way they think.

Their opinion?

Doesn’t matter.

That little love button that threatens to undo you because the comment that is loved is so mean, that comment that’s in response to you pouring out your whole heart before the person. And then you are called names and told that everything you’ve given to yourself as a life calling doesn’t count.

Who are you, huh?

MY GOD says I am loved.

He is ABLE to give me wisdom.

Ain’t nobody gotta be afraid for me!

I’m HELD.

I’m CLEAN.

My land, my nation is clean where I walk upon it.

I don’t bear the weight of the guilt of a whole nation.

JESUS DOES.

Love,

Ailene <which means bringer of light and messenger of truth, so there you go!>

*renaissance- yeah it means revival of the arts. I take it here as a resurrection of the heart and thus creativity of me. I believe we are each created as fully alive living art pieces. Each a facet of our creative God’s heart on earth, never seen before.